While Cape Town was busy demolishing its now defunct cooling towers over the weekend, my favourite head of state, Mahmoud Ahma-want-my-drone-nejad was being a busy bee. He not only unveiled plans for 10 new nuclear sites and started to fuel the first nuclear reactor (with the help of his partner in crime, Russia) but he also unveiled an unmanned bomber that has been aptly named the “Ambassador of Death”. I would hazard a guess that this was to go with his ongoing theme of “Death to America”. Politics these days has become rather interesting and with quotes like these, it’s no wonder why I keep having to remind myself that I’m not reading a Marvel comic:
“The scope of Iran’s reaction will include the entire the earth,” (insert evil laugh) – M. Ahmadinejad, in a response to a possible attack from Israel on its nuclear facilities.
“The jet, as well as being an ambassador of death for the enemies of humanity, has a main message of peace and friendship,” – M. Ahmadinejad. Only he is talented enough to use the words death, enemies, peace and friendship to describe his drone, and all this in one sentence. Nothing screams peace and friendship like an unmanned drone that’s been named “The Ambassador of Death”.
And lastly, to remind us all that being a super villain doesn’t mean that you have to be crass and vulgar, he shows that at times, you can still act like a lady and said that sanctions should be thrown in the dustbin like a “used handkerchief”. Handkerchiefs… now that’s class. And at least we know he doesn’t litter. He doesn’t just throw it on the floor, he puts it in the bin. We should all learn from that.
And then at other times, I just have to look the other way like the time when he ranted about Paul the octopus during the Soccer World Cup and blamed the otherwise placid cephalopod for “spreading Western propaganda and superstition.” It must’ve been one of those slow days in terms of scheming of ways to take over the world.
But back at home, it was also reported that 6 rocket launchers were missing from the stock take at the South African National Defence Force, along with 4 mortars. Heitman, the defence correspondent said that the SANDF ammunition and weapons stores were “pretty highly controlled”.
Hmmm… obviously not. If only they had done random bag checks of all their employees as they left the building and asked them to empty out their pockets. After all, my teacher used to tell us that things don’t just grow legs and walk out, people take them out.