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News headlines always amuse me because today as I was spinning at the gym, I happened to be watching Sky News and caught a glimpse of the ticker scrolling across the screen that read:

“Trapped miners told to sing for their sanity.”  They still haven’t been told that hopes of rescuing them would take months and that they’re only expected to be dug out by Christmas time.  One would only hope that they’re not going to be singing “99 Red Balloons” but more to the tune of  “9,999,999 Red Balloons” if they’re to sing from now until the end of the year.

But wait, it gets better because not only have they limited supplies of food but now authorities have told them “not to eat too much or else they will not squeeze through the escape tunnel when it is finally built”.  So not only are they stuck down a mine, in the dark, with no proper food or hope of seeing daylight for another 4 months but now they are being told not to get fat.  Yes… because by the time the escape tunnel is built, it is highly probable that they would’ve found ways to grow crops and do some subsistence farming down there.  Maybe by the time the rescuers arrive, they will have grown their own maize, made tamales out of it and be waiting whilst singing Feliz Navidad.

In another headline today (this time from News24), it read “274 kg Woman leaves home by forklift”.  Intrigued, I had to read on only to discover that these two stories had a running theme:  being fat and getting trapped. Except here, the woman was trapped in her own home.  But both events involved more or less similar facts – the use of “engineers, demolition crews, rescue workers, doctors and nurses”.  And I never know whether journalists are just merely having chuckles when they write their stories because the article ends as follows:

Umnuayporn says her dream is to go to the beach.  “I want to go to the sea,” she said, with tears in her eyes. “I want to play in the water.”