C’est la merde! So last night I found out that he was in town, apparently spotted at The Old Biscuit Mill. My immediate reaction: cold hands and shortened breaths. I amazed myself. I knew I was already getting over it but just coming to terms with the fact that I could’ve possibly bumped into him unawares with whomever he is with now caught me off guard. Very off guard. I had very successfully packed that part of my life away in my mental box at the back of my head, not to be opened for a long time. In fact, if I had lost the keys I wouldn’t have complained. The thing is, I had only recently been able to look back on the photos we took when we were “happy together” so had I bumped into him yesterday morning, I don’t know what would’ve happened and I’m glad I didn’t have to find out. The way it ended left a bad taste in my mouth – something I know I need to sort out for myself at some point.
But hearing this made it all too real. It opened up my Pandora’s Box of memories and other emotional crap I had kept under lock and key. The weird part was that I dreamt about him the night before. I hadn’t dreamed about him in a while and I even remember waking up that morning with an odd feeling, thinking how strange it was that after all this time he was in my subconscious again, telling me how much he had in common with this new girl, blah blah blah…
Luckily whilst he was savouring the delights and traipsing around the market, I was doing much the same but on the other side of the mountain with my girl friends attending a baby shower. Yes, wearing our Mickey Mouse party hats. Who wouldn’t be jealous right? And I guess to make doubly sure, the universe directed me towards Big Bay again in the afternoon, far away from ever accidentally having to bump into him.
Hopefully by the end of today he’ll be back on the plane and I’ll be able to continue my running in peace.