I came across this movie again and I don’t know what made me watch it on a Saturday night but anyway I did and this scene struck a nerve. I found myself reliving those moments I had – luckily I didn’t have any red wine otherwise I’d be boo hoo-ing into the phone by now only to regret it the next morning. It was the dialogue that got to me. It was all those questions that I needed to be answered and it was the indifference he showed in it that I was so familiar with.
And it’s true when she says that all it takes is a moment and that you always have a choice when that moment comes. To either give in to it or resist because you realise that what you have is worth the restraint. Giving in to this moment is what starts to conjure up all these questions, comparing yourself to the other person and asking what they had that you didn’t, back tracking and doubting everything that was ever said and done. Was it because I needed him and she didn’t? Is it the chase? Did he ever love me and how is someone able to do this to another? They were all in my “Save as draft” e-mails in my inbox that I never had the strength to send in case I got the answer I wasn’t prepared to hear or worse yet, no reply. I wasn’t ready for it, at least not at that time and I’m not sure if I ever will want to hear them. As time goes by, it won’t matter much anymore and I already find myself thinking about it less and less so for now, it was best to let sleeping dogs lie.
I must say I liked the ending though. Just as Alice Ayres was not her real name nor who she was, I felt much the same during that time. It’s a matter of going back home, if only for a while to be me again.